All Too Flat is an exciting and dynamic place to work. We are always looking for bright, enthusiastic, creative, self-motivated team players who like to work hard and play hard. ATF offers an excellent compensation and benefits package, including stock options and a 401 K with generous match and vesting schedule. In addition, we provide all our employees with Wegman's subs for lunch and Hefeweissen Bier on Fridays.

Please e-mail your resume as ASCII, HTML, Word, or LaTeX to atfjobsalltooflat.com. No phone calls please.

ATF has the following current job openings. If there isn't a position open, please don't hesitate to send your resume. We'll keep it on file and contact you if something opens up.

We are looking for a Senior Software Engineer to head our .Net Business Applications Development sector.

Desired Qualifications

An undergraduate degree in computer science or engineering-related field.

3 to 5 years development experience and an understanding of the software development life cycle.

Excellent communication skills, both oral and written.

Object Oriented Design and Programming experience with C#, C++, COM+, SQL Server and UML or other relevant technologies (e.g., HTML, XML, XSL, SOAP, ASP)

Look, I'll be honest. We'll hire the first person who can tell us what any of those fucking terms mean!

We are looking for a Helper Monkey to get us snacks, including but not limited to Wegman's subs.

Responsibilities Include

Mostly getting us things.

Also a fair amount of typing

Desired Qualifications

Able to remember all employees sub orders, or be able to write it down in a Palm Pilot.

Must be willing to relocate near Wegman's.

Must be over 21 or possess a good fake ID.

Knowledge of Shakespearean prose a plus

NEW: Monkey Referral Program: To assist in our efforts to rewrite Timon of Athens, we are implementing a referral program. Refer 1,000 helper monkeys and get a free t-shirt!

We are looking for someone to hold down the e-fort when one or more of us can't be at a terminal for any length of time.

Responsibilities Include

Sitting at a Net connection

Surfing the web and forwarding interesting / funny URLs to the ATF team during work hours

Looking up the answers to any questions we have on any subject

Desired Qualifications

Proficiency at hitting "N"

Promise to never send an e-mail forward, no matter how funny you think it is.

Ability to use the Google advanced search like a fucking champ

Must be willing to sign an Non-Disclosure Agreement (Can't have the public knowing what kind of smut Kennyb likes to look at!)

Must get all of our jokes, even the really geeky ones