All Too Flat is an exciting and dynamic place to work. We are always looking for bright, enthusiastic, creative, self-motivated team players who like to work hard and play hard. ATF offers an excellent compensation and benefits package, including stock options and a 401 K with generous match and vesting schedule. In addition, we provide all our employees with Wegman's subs for lunch and Hefeweissen Bier on Fridays.
Please e-mail your resume as ASCII, HTML, Word, or LaTeX to atfjobsalltooflat.com. No phone calls please.
ATF has the following current job openings. If there isn't a position open, please don't hesitate to send your resume. We'll keep it on file and contact you if something opens up.
We are looking for a Helper Monkey to get us snacks, including but not limited to Wegman's subs.
Mostly getting us things.
Also a fair amount of typing
Able to remember all employees sub orders, or be able to write it down in a Palm Pilot.
Must be willing to relocate near Wegman's.
Must be over 21 or possess a good fake ID.
Knowledge of Shakespearean prose a plus
NEW: Monkey Referral Program: To assist in our efforts to rewrite Timon of Athens, we are implementing a referral program. Refer 1,000 helper monkeys and get a free t-shirt!
We are looking for someone to hold down the e-fort when one or more of us can't be at a terminal for any length of time.
Sitting at a Net connection
Surfing the web and forwarding interesting / funny URLs to the ATF team during work hours
Looking up the answers to any questions we have on any subject
Proficiency at hitting "N"
Promise to never send an e-mail forward, no matter how funny you think it is.
Ability to use the Google advanced search like a fucking champ
Must be willing to sign an Non-Disclosure Agreement (Can't have the public knowing what kind of smut Kennyb likes to look at!)
Must get all of our jokes, even the really geeky ones