ANCHORAGE, AK - Recent sightings by Alaskan pilots of a bird with a wingspan of approximately 14 feet--the size of a small plane--have been hailed as "a development of tremendous importance" by monomaniacal self-appointed experts the world over.

"The discovery of the Alaskan Thunderbird, or 'roc' as it was known in antiquity, should put to rest any claims that the field of cryptozoology is not a serious discipline," said "Doctor" Pete MacKenzie, founding and sole member of the Loch Finnaig Research Institute of Loch Finnaig, Scotland.

"While, to the untrained eye, the existence of a Steller's sea eagle with an unusually large wingspan appears to lend little credence to the belief in a thriving community of carnivorous aquatic dinosaurs spread throughout the frigid, biologically barren lakes of the Scottish Highlands via an undetected network of interlocking underground cavens--well, that's what they said about the coelacanth."

The coelacanth, a prehistoric fish thought to be extinct until it was rediscovered off the African coast in the early 20th century, is believed closely linked to the Abominable Snowman, MacKenzie said.