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California Department of Transportation Braces for Letter Shortage: 10-8-2003 Man Gets Cell Phone; Vows Not To Be One of "Those Guys": 8-1-2003 Bush to Consumers: "Click Here to Unsubscribe (heh heh heh)": 6-27-2003 ATF Team to Bid on Peoplesoft: 6-20-2003 Defense Secretary Rumsfeld's Got Your Weapons of Mass Destruction Right Here: 6-2-2003 Post-Breakdown Pop Chanteuse, Bologna Enthusiast Latest Targets of Eminem's Scorching Satire: 5-27-2003 I Swear To God I'm Working on Another One of These News Parodies: 5-18-2003 UN Having Difficulty Finding Ways to Embarrass Itself: 5-6-2003 Disinformation.com Outgrown: 5-5-2003 Revolting Iraqis Make Man Really Appreciate Sid Meier's Civilization: 5-1-2003 Guy Washes Face Every Time He Uses Men's Room: 4-30-2003 Chirac Saddam: 4-28-2003 Canada Befuddled By Effective UN Organization: 4-24-2003 Jerry Bruckheimer Can't Help but Make Kick-Ass Musical Montages out of War Footage: 4-2-2003 Arnett Firing Tarnishes Otherwise Spotless Record of Journalistic Excellence: 3-31-2003 7th Grader Insists That Boyfriend Call It a "Freedom Kiss": 3-28-2003 Pro-Democracy, Pro-Peace Marchers Plan to Democratically, Peacefully Grind Manhattan to a Chaos-Filled Standstill : 3-26-2003 Michael Moore Like That Pretty Much All the Time: 3-25-2003 FRANCE SURRENDERS: 3-20-2003 Disconsolate Chirac Sulks in Left Bank Cafe, in Remembrance of Dictators Past: 3-18-2003 Leaders Spend Azores Summit Reenacting Scenes from Fawlty Towers: 3-17-2003 Saddam May Launch Preemptive Strike at Self: 3-14-2003 Eilzabeth Smart Rescued from Religious Fanatic, Returned Safely to Devout Mormon Family: 3-13-2003 Dr. Doom, Magneto Urge Patience in Standoff Between United States, Galactus: 3-12-2003 Back of Missy Elliott's Jacket Running Out of Room for Airbrushed Portraits of Slain Rappers: 3-11-2003 Irish-American Community Divided On St. Pat's Day Iraq Deadline, United On Drinking Heavily: 3-10-2003 Authorities: Foo Fighters Concert Was Target for Foiled Courtney Love Plane Hijacking: 2-4-2003 News Analysis: State of the Union? Drunk: 1-31-2003 Someone Somewhere Is Sitting Around Thinking Pocketful of Kryptonite Was a Damn Good Album: 1-30-2003 Bush in State of the Union Speech: "Mr. Floyd, Tear Down This Wall": 1-29-2003 The Blix Report: Saddam Concealing Weapons of Mass Destruction, Relationship with Intern: 1-28-2003 Gaudy, Frivolous Sporting Event Makes Gaudy, Frivolous Commercials Look Deeply Meaningful by Comparison: 1-27-2003 Man Frees Self from Frozen Car with Own Nipples: 1-24-2003 Germany, France Sign 'Unprecedented' Jew-Hating Madman Support Accords: 1-23-2003 Libya to Head UN Human Rights Commission; "No, Seriously" Say Diplomats: 1-22-2003 Former UN Weapons Inspector Calls for Rigorous Search of Underage Girl's Pants: 1-21-2003 UN Security Council to Impose Sanctions on Makers of Kangaroo Jack: 1-20-2003 "McDonald's Express" Just a Regular McDonald's with Less Food and Fewer Seats: 1-10-2003 All of World's Problems Solved by Couple of Marxists on Twin Peaks Message Board: 1-9-2003 Poison Discovered in Britain; Lead Singer Brett Michaels Still at Large: 1-8-2003 Tipster to FBI: "Psych!": 1-7-2003 Diet Put Off Until After Invasion of Iraq: 1-6-2003 Aragorn Son of Arathorn Announces Formation of Kingship Exploratory Committee: 12-19-2002 "Beyond Bad Aim": Unidentified Urinator Soils Men's Room Floor Yet Again: 12-17-2002 Editorial: Now More Than Ever, We Need Assholes: 12-15-2002 Study: Writing News Parodies Not as Much Fun as Playing Grand Theft Auto: 12-13-2002 Lott's Comments on Thurmond Lead to Avalanche of Bad Headline Puns Involving "Lott," "Strom": 12-12-2002 Active Wear Purchased by Inactive Woman: 12-11-2002 Alumni Notes for Class of '25 Really Depressing: 12-10-2002 Mafia Chieftain Complains His Family Has Had Really Boring Season: 12-9-2002 Experts: Shakeup on Bush's Economic Team Means Fewer Weird Lookin' Dudes : 12-6-2002 Heavy Snow Pounds Nation; Whitney Houston's Nose Hardest Hit: 12-5-2002 Saudi Government Begins Anti-Terror Initiative: "Operation: Disband the Saudi Government": 12-4-2002 Boston Archdiocese to Hold Blowout Bankruptcy Sale; Law: "Everything Must God": 12-3-2002 Bin Laden Emerges from Hidden Mountain Cave, Seeks Lost Magic Ring: 12-2-2002 Jay-Z Instructs Chauffeur to Take the H to the Izz-O V to the Lizzane: 11-26-2002 Ashcroft Declares "War On Fucking": 11-25-2002 I Just Had a Really Great Batch of Sour Patch Kids: 11-22-2002 Hans Blix Assumes Control of UN Funny-Sounding Names Commission: 11-21-2002 Valdez Captain Swears He's Not Enjoying Prestige Sinking: 11-20-2002 Guy at Next Urinal Gets Way Too Into It: 11-19-2002 Michael Jackson's Freakishness Still Considered Newsworthy: 11-18-2002 New Harry Potter Film Captures, Releases World's Imagination: 11-15-2002 Officials: Tape Confirms Bin Laden Is Alive, Paul Is Dead: 11-14-2002 Lightsaber Skills Prove Surprisingly Ineffective in Knife Fight: 11-13-2002 Researchers Discover "Chocoholic Gene"; Your Mother Dies of Ovarian Cancer: 11-12-2002 Political Cartoonist Chooses Gillette's Mach 3 Turbo over Occam's Razor: 11-11-2002 Hot Lesbian Action, Misogynistic Homophobe Battle for Box-Office Supremacy: 11-8-2002 Guy in Front of You at Blockbuster Never Had No Overdue Videos: 11-7-2002 Hot Girl Born After Batman Came Out: 11-6-2002 Massive Lemming Suicide Plunge Blamed on "Zionist Aggression": 11-5-2002 In Statement on Jam Master Jay's Death, Suge Knight Offers Sympathy, Alibi: 11-4-2002 Nirvana Releases New Song; All Other Rock Bands Give Up: 11-1-2002 Stoners Regret Rental of The Texas Chain Saw Massacre: 10-31-2002 Alaskan "Giant Bird" Sightings Good News for World's Crackpots: 10-29-2002 Protesters Rally with Cries of "No Blood for National Security": 10-28-2002 Sniper Rifle Use Plummets among Grand Theft Auto III Players: 10-25-2002 Al-Guilera Deploys Weapon of Mass Turbation: 10-24-2002