TORONTO, Ontario - Canadian officials expressed anger today over the recent World Health Organization (WHO) advisory which warns travelers against visiting Toronto due to concerns over the deadly airborne virus SARS. As of Monday, Toronto has 132 probable cases of SARS patients, and Canada has had 12 SARS fatalities (6 percent of such deaths worldwide).

"Frankly, I'm shocked and appalled at the decision," Medical Commisioner Colin D'Cunha told reporters at a Thursday press briefing. "I really just don't understand how a UN organization like WHO can look at the facts and draw a conclusion that doesn't suggest willful blindness. This has got to be a first."

Later in that same press conference, Toronto Mayor Mel Lastman was quoted as saying that officials have considered developing VX nerve gas "to do our own 'quarantine,'" in the hopes that the UN Human Rights Commission will become interested. "The way I see it, we need to get one of the real UN organizations involved. You know, the ones that can't seem to find their ass with both hands."

He added "You know, if we become evil enough, we can actually increase tourism by getting some of those human shields coming up through the border. That would be awesome."


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This atfact was provided by the Alltooflat staff, under the direction of the Bandit.