DETROIT, MI - Taking on the powerful and skewering sacred cows are unthinkable actions for most people, but then, most people aren't Eminem. The controversial, Grammy Award-winning hip-hop superstar, considered by many to be the heir to Swift, Mencken & Vonnegut, has added the heretofore untouchable Mariah Carey & "Weird" Al Yankovic to the list of targets of his revolutionary wit.

"Listen, I got nothing to prove," said the Rabelaisean rapper (nee Marshall Mathers) from his gold-plated bathroom telephone yesterday. "I mean, I've already taken on a boy band, a teenaged girl, a former sitcom star, a comedian with testicular cancer, a guy who nearly died from a heart condition, a group of people who wear clown makeup, a bald vegan pacifist, a hand puppet, the diminutive producer behind Kriss Kross, a guy who already got his ass handed to him in a battle with LL Cool J, a man best known for love-song duets with Jennifer Lopez who had already been battled to a standstill by someone's who's survived being shot nine times, the woman who gave birth to my daughter and the woman who gave birth to me--not exactly soft targets, are they?"

"But I simply cannot quiet my pen when confronted with the hubris of a mentally-ill woman who made the mistake of leaving friendly messages on my answering machine, or an accordian-playing polka enthusiast who launched his career with a song about cold cuts," Eminem (aka Slim Shady) continued. "I know this kind of take-no-prisoners, stick-it-to-the-Man attitude offends some people, but all great art is offensive in some way--right, Dre?"

When asked about his technique, Em replied, "I say to myself, 'What would Moliere say about this?' Then I add a few 'faggot-ass'es and I'm pretty much done."