NEW YORK, NY - The United Nations, in a last-ditch attempt to humiliate itself in the eyes of the international community, ransacked it's own cafeteria last Friday during a one-day strike of food service employees at the historic New York City institution. Food, silverware, and liquor were counted among the items that were thieved from up to five different in-house eating establishments.

"The greatest minds at the United Nations are running into something of a mental block," suggested UN Secretary General Kofi Annan during an exclusive interview with All Too Factual this past weekend. "UNOBELI [the United Nations Organization for Behaving Like Imbiciles] really had it going on with the idea to ignore our own resolutions on the Iraqi disarmament process - that was something. But this looting is so derivative, it really feels like they were reaching."

Upon being reminded of such brilliant and bold moves by UNOBELI as the recent re-election of Cuba to the UN Human Rights Commission nearly on the eve of that country's imprisoning of 75 journalists and human rights activists, as well as electing Libya to be chairman of that same Commission, Annan was somewhat heartened. But, still he despairs for the future.

Kofi ended the interview on something of a down note when he told ATFact "I just don't know. It was a delicious exercise in diplomatic irony when we 'accidentally' collaberated in the massacre of thousands of Bosnian Serbs, but I feel we really jumped the shark when we looted our own kitchens," adding "Maybe we can come up with something for Mugabe to get involved in. Put him in charge of the UN WFP, or something.


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This atfact was provided by the Alltooflat staff, under the direction of the Bandit.