BAGHDAD, IRAQ - Four decades of unbiased reportage and rigorous fact-checking came to an ignoble end today, as NBC News, MSNBC and National Geographic Explorer severed their relationship with Pulitzer Prize-winning reporter Peter Arnett in a move that completely stunned both the news world and the world at large.

Arnett is best known as the intrepid reporter whose dogged determination to uncover the truth led to several startling exposes at his former home, CNN, the news network founded by Jane Fonda's husband Ted. He helped publicize Operation Tailwind, in which U.S. troops used nerve gas on American defectors in Laos during the Vietnam War, and Operation Similac Storm, in which U.S. troops targeted and destroyed a factory used to produce baby milk during Gulf War I. His success was such that CNN, feeling it no longer deserved such an incredible voice of truth and light, allowed Arnett to seek employment elsewhere.

"I was just saying what everyone already knows about the war," said Arnett in reference to the interview he granted to Iraqi TV which precipitated NBC's decision. "Namely, that it's an unmitigated disaster, another Vietnam brought on by the greed and stupidity of the Bush administration and the racist bloodlust of the American populace, all of whom are destined to die in disgrace and defeat thanks to the bravery of the Iraqi people's beloved leader, Uncle Saddam. But clearly, saying this to Iraqi television, and not to the network to which I was contractually obligated, was a mistake, and I apologize if this meant the soundbytes were harder to capture."

Arnett was working on an expose of Operation Let's Help the Sinister Cabal of Oilmen and Jews Poison the Ragheads, the current operation in which U.S. troops are replacing baby milk with nerve gas in areas under Allied control, when MSNBC's announcement came.