SEAFORD, NY - With patriotism and hormones running equally high, Seaford Middle School student Michelle Taranto, 12, broke off a furtive make-out session beneath the staircase Thursday to inform boyfriend Corey Walsh that their lingual intermingling would henceforth be referred to as "freedom kissing."
"Corey, now that we like each other and know that neither of us is desperate, I'm comfortable with being intimate with you on this level," Taranto said while wiping saliva from her chin with her sleeve. "But one thing I'm not comfortable with is the behavior of President Chirac and Minister de Villepin. So I'd appreciate it if you keep our troops in both your heart and your tongue from now on."
Walsh later expressed support for Taranto's decision, part of a growing
movement away from France-based names. "If that's what she wants to call it, believe me, that's fine with me."
"Do you think," Walsh concluded, "that she'd say yes if I asked her to let me go to 'patriot base' with her?"