NEW YORK - Filmmaker and activist Michael Moore, best known for his harsh, antagonistic attacks on the American business and political establishment, has levelled similarly harsh, antagonistic attacks against the establishments of dozens of small businesses, office buildings, and public transportation vehicles, sources reported today.

Fresh from a strident, divisive speech following his win of the 2003 Academy Award for Best Documentary, Moore paid strident, divisive visits to a deli, the dry cleaner, and the back of Nkrume Fuqua's taxi cab, sources reported today.

At Vito's Delicatessen, Moore assailed several employees with accusations about "the fictition [sic] of low-fat mayonnaise" before repeatedly yelling "shame on you" at one of them for failing to slice all the way through a kaiser roll. A similar incident occurred at Happy Laundry, where Moore claimed that both the Pope and the Dixie Chicks would condemn the business's handling of his extensive wardrobe of slogan-bearing t-shirts and baseball caps. The string of denunciations culminated during a cab ride from the offices of Miramax to Moore's Upper West Side apartment, when Moore told his driver, "Don't report to your dispatcher that there was a split decision in the cab because one stupid driver wanted to go up Broadway instead of Central Park West.

"I'm an American," Moore concluded. "I didn't check my citizenship at the door to this taxi."