PARIS - Just three hours after the United States began its military campaign to oust Saddam Hussein and disarm Iraq, French President Jacques Chirac took to his nation's airwaves to announce the French governments immediate and unconditional surrender.

"The French government believes that war is always the last resort," said Chirac of the surprise dawn strikes against targets inside Baghdad, while waving a white flag. "It is because of these deeply-held beliefs that I have ordered the military and police to drop their weapons to the ground, hold their hands up in the air and tremble like little schoolgirls."

This is the first time France has surrendered since last May, when Chirac called AC/DC lead guitarist Angus Young to capitulate after Young's band played a particularly boisterous version of "For Those About to Rock" at Long Island's Nassau Coliseum.

ATFact correspondent Amanda Collins broke this story.

From Sean, Amanda and the entire All Too Factual team, we wish our both our troops and the people of Iraq and the region at large good luck and godspeed.