THE AZORES ISLANDS, PORTUGAL - Saying that what their summit on policy towards Iraq needed most was "a touch of class," the leaders of the United States, the United Kingdom and Spain held several high-profile stagings of scenes from the popular John Cleese-Connie Booth television series Fawlty Towers.

Though the show ran for a total of only twelve episodes in the 1970s, the popularity of Cleese's first major post-Python project has remained high due to frequent airings during "Brit-com blocks" on American public television stations. With British Prime Minister Tony Blair playing the part of belligerent hotel owner Basil Fawlty and Spanish Prime Minister Jose Maria Aznar imitating the antics of perpetually confused Spanish waiter Manuel, the show's popularity is likely to increase.

Highlights of the summit included a phone call from Blair to German Chancellor Gerhard Schroeder, in which Blair repeatedly reminded himself, "Don't mention the War," only to begin screaming about Goebbels in a German accent; and a long speech from Blair in which he detailed the importance of immediate, unconditional disarmament, only to elicit a timid "¿que?" from the Spanish leader.

President Bush eagerly participated in the reenactments for several minutes, until his repeated questions as to the whereabouts of "the babes in bikinis" made it clear that he had mistaken Fawlty Towers for The Benny Hill Show.

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Happy St. Patrick's Day, everyone! From your friend, the ever-lovin' blue-eyed Crisc O'Bandit.