SAN DIEGO, CA - The underdog came out on top Sunday as the Tampa Bay Buccaneers crushed the formidable Oakland Raiders by a score of 48-21 in Super Bowl XXXVII, an event so pathetically insignificant in the grand scheme of things that it made the championship game's audience view the commercials aired during breaks in the action as--get this--important cultural touchstones.

"Normally when people think of commercials, words like 'headache,' 'annoyance,' and 'TiVo' come to mind," said researcher Mort Weissman of the Television Research Institute. "But according to our recent data, the gargantuan pointlessness and stupidity of the Super Bowl is such that it makes the absurdly expensive ads seem like miniature James Joyce novels. That's why, on a day when our country is taking its first steps toward a war that will doubtlessly effect international relations for decades, column inches in major metropolitan newspapers nationwide will be devoted to discussing the social ramifications of some beer-drinking douchebag with three arms."

According to Weissman's statistics, more Americans have now seen Shania Twain lipsync than all the films of Michaelangelo Antonioni combined.