PARIS, FRANCE - Asserting that their action will further the cause of world peace, French President Jacque Chirac and German Chancellor Gerhard Schroeder pledged to help protect a brutally oppressive dictator with territorially expansive designs and apparently no moral scruples whatsoever, the two men announced yesterday.

"It is important that no warmongering nation can put its interests before those of human rights, religious tolerance, regional stability, and the will of the international community," Schroeder said after the signing ceremony. "That is why it is only common sense that we do whatever we can to keep the United States from deposing a man who has attempted to wipe out several ethnic minorities, has repeatedly called for the complete destruction of the state of Israel and worldwide Jewry, has attacked four of his neighboring countries, and repeatedly tells the UN to go fuck itself," he continued.

"This kind of high-level mutual support for a mustachioed sociopathic raving genocidal Jew-hater among our two great countries has never, ever been seen before," Chirac added authoritatively.