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Poison Discovered in Britain; Lead Singer Brett Michaels Still at Large

1-8-2003 (Archived)

LONDON, UK - A potential disaster was averted Sunday as British authorities raided a London apartment being used to house Poison, the late-80's hair band whose music could have a catastrophic effect on the ears of England's population.

Police arrested three suspects, including known jihairdists C.C. DeVille, Rikki Rocket and Bobby Dall. Brett Michaels, the suspected ringleader of the plot, is believed to have fled to the lair of Poodlehead Liberation Organization leader Kip Winger, deep within the teeming slums of Jalalabad.

"The raid was a success, but until Michaels is apprehended, Poison could still be introduced into the population," said a spokesman for the police department. "When that happens, we're only minutes away from wholesale Slaughter."

Slaughter, a group loosely affiliated with Michaels's Hair-Spraeda network, has threatened to cause Americans everywhere to "Fly to the Angels."

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