NEW YORK, NY - A new study overturned long-held conventional wisdom about time-wasting, finding that the creation of news-based satire has lost out to playing ultraviolent video games amongst the nation's freelance writers.

"Hard as it may be, we must face up to the truth that as enjoyable as mocking the government of Saudi Arabia or the Roman Catholic Church may be, it's just not up to snuff when compared to riding around on a motorcycle conducting drive-by shootings in order to raise the level of something called a Chaosometer," said Cawn Shollins, the study's head researcher.

Also outranking news parodies were "drinking more caffeine-free Diet Coke," "playing Snood," and "staring into space."