NEW YORK, NY - A powerful
blizzard shut down passages--specifically, the nasal passages of pop diva
Whitney Houston--across the Eastern Seabord today.
Meteorologists and gossip columnists alike predicted that despite Houston's assertions to the contrary, the white stuff would continue to flow heavily, and in some places, such as Ms. Houston's mirrored coffee table, could reach levels of up to eight inches.
On the upside, however, economists have predicted that both the stock market and Ms. Houston's husband, r&b singer Bobby Brown, will experience rising levels of green in the coming days.