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    Jay-Z Instructs Chauffeur to Take the H to the Izz-O V to the Lizzane
    11-26-2002 (Archived)
    LONG ISLAND, NY - En route to his estate in the Hamptons for the long Thanksgiving holiday weekend, rapper Jay-Z suggested that the driver of his stretch humvee take the multi-passenger HOV lane, or in hip-hop parlance, "the lane with the rocks painted on it, god."

    When asked why he prefers the h to the izzo v to the lizzane, the recording star, also known as Jay-Hova, retorted, "For shizzle my nizzle--traffic's bad on holidizzays."

    "That's the anthem--head to Southampton," he added.

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    The Crisco Bandit will return on Monday, December 2nd. But to make up for his absence, he's instructing your family to prepare a turkey dinner on November 28th! You're welcome!

    Happy Thanksgiving from your friends at All Too Factual.
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