Ahhh, the good ole' days are here again. Sam came home last night, in a flurry of souvenirs and duty-free whiskey. And it's nice that nothing has changed - first night home, and he's in front of the tv watching a reality TV show. It's Rich Girls, which I didn't even know existed. Although I feel bad for it: It has all the charm of The Simple Life, and none of the Hilton Sisters (link removed due to content restrictions). It's an MTV show about the daughter of Tommy Hilfiger and her friend, and why you should hate them because they have more money and power than you. Really, I think this entire reality television thing is just part of a master plan by Rupert Murdoch to spawn a revolution of working class against the bourgeoisie. Fox News is clearly just another mechanism by which he's angering and frustrating the left side of the aisle.

I'm not saying I've proved it or anything, but if you find yourself with your back against the wall when the revolution comes, just say you listen to NPR and you should be fine.

So, I keep a list on my phone of things that I should write about. Whenever I find something good enough to write down, it's always the funniest thing ever, and there's no way I'd ever forget what the note was referring to. At least, that's the idea. Let's look through it, shall we?

phone crashed, reverted to old grocery list. Didn't notice - Yeah. I'm pretty sure that one of the programs I used frequenty was causing some problems. Which is kind of funny, since the program was my memo program. So this actually used to happen to me a lot.

Everything is faster in NY: Calling 5's on the subway - I mean. I make a point. How far do you think that would fly. I believe the calling of fives is a sacrosant act. But on the subway, even I would sit down and look at you like you were an idiot.

From slate: drunk dialing with camera phones - really, I'm surprised this hasn't become more of an issue these days. I've had my share of friends who didn't respect the 5-drink limit on phone calls, and I could only imagine what evil could have been done had they had the ability to send visual along with their audio.

Kobe beef hamburger pisses off the french - I think I remember what this was about. I was having an internal debate about how I felt about that place that makes the $40 hamburger out of Kobe beef (from cows that have been fed the finest wheats and beer, massaged, and generally treated very well. Except, you know, for the last couple of minutes when they're killed for their flesh). I was wavering pro and con, but I think I finally came down on the side of pro because (a) Any thing that ends in hamburger, as long as it isn't soylent green, I have to support; and (b) It would probably aggravate the French.

There's a fairly good chance there will be SOME point during the night that I will be exhaustingly hot. So why not start out really cold? I keep windows open - hehehe. This one is funny because it's time has come again. I first wrote it at the beginning of last winter. I guess I don't do blog updates that often.

Re: Lebowski scenes - W throws TBL to the ground. Why is Walter the bad guy? The Big Lebowski behaved willfully irresponsibly, and was a total dick. Sometimes you have to throw the crippled guy to the ground. - Uhhh.... I don't know. Maybe I was trying to make a point about the neccessity for all of us to behave responsibly, regardless of our situation. Or something. On the other hand, I hear I once made a rather convincing argument against putting wheelchair ramps to public buildings, so clearly I have some issues with this. I assume I was drinking, but that's no excuse.

Girls are 30 percent more attractive when they are lighting cigarettes. That's the sort of doctor I want to be - I was talking to an aquaintance of mine, who said she read some research that came up with this result. How do you measure something like that, you ask? Well, I've heard tell that they they've came up with a device that can anaylze the timber of a mans voice when he says "Damn, she's cute."

Hummus - I think I'm being followed - Yeah, I have no clue.