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Actually, I Watch a Lot of FOX: 1-28-2003

Well folks, it's the end of January again, and you know what that means! No, no, not recovering from post-Super Bowl hangovers. Nor am I referring to us all reaching the 4 week mark of Joe Millionaire (btw: this weeks necklace was Ruby, my favorite precious stone. Watching the episode last night, I had a funny thought - do you think the necklaces are real? It would be totally awesome if when they got home from the chateau to get them appraised, they found out that the necklaces were all made of paste. Serves 'em right [not for being money-grubbing, which I have no opinion about, but for agreeing to be on a tv show on FOX ]. A side note: FOX had something of a dubious achievement with the first episide of JM, becoming the first network to show a guy giving multiple girls a pearl necklace).

No, I'm referring to the fact that we have once again come upon the State of the Union Address. The finest two hours of television on the networks (barring FOX, on which it is only scheduled to play for an hour. I concede that, since FOX news is right after it, they'll probably preempt the weatherman). When I was younger, I would watch the SOTU with a pad and pen, and take notes. That's before I was actually paying attention to the news (and admittedly, before everything in the world sucked), and consequently before I knew that the stuff the president was saying was actually important. Now I'm looking for a way just to get through the thing; well, I thought of one. Though I'm not sure it's incredibly appropriate, I figure with the advent of TiVo, there's not much of a moral problem playing:

The SOTU Drinking Game

  • Take a drink everytime there's a standing ovation. Now, be careful with this, because if you're a lightweight this rule is enough to put you in a coma by the end of the hour
  • Time the ovation. If it goes longer than a full minute, take a shot (Don't expect to be able to use the stopwatch on your digital watch. By the half-hour mark, you aren't going to be able so see the numbers. You need an egg timer or one of those watches for the blind for this. Anything that makes it easier to tell the time)
  • Shotgun a beer everytime you hear the phrase "Material Breach"
  • Drink anytime either one of the Clintons looks bored
  • Two shots if Thurmond passes away during the speech (Note that you are drinking to his memory, not the fact that he died. It's a drinking game, not an "I'm a dick" game
  • Drink some water everytime Bush (bless his tender heart) stumbles over a word or phrase

    That should just about do it. Play this game, and not only will you be able to make it through the entire address, you will have a good excuse to not go to work tommorrow. Well, maybe not a good excuse per se, but an excuse nonetheless.

    What else... Oh yeah. I just found out that Alan Cumming (of The Anniversary Party fame) is going to be playing Nightcrawler in X-Men 2. While I don't normally support the making of sequals (why you ask? Three words), I'm a sucker for movie adaptations of comic books. Which is why I'm really psyched for the next year in films, since it's not only bringing us Daredevil, The Hulk, and X-Men 2, but also the next Matrix movies (which admittedly have nothing to do with comics, but are still really stinking cool).

    Next entry: The "I'm a Dick" game!



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