I was at the gym yesterday, on the elliptical (and I don't want to hear any crap about me being on the elliptical. My knees tend to hurt when I run on the treadmill, and also for some reason I can't find my running shoes, which means that when I go to the gym, I have to choose between Doc Martens, a pair of brown wing-tips, and my Tevas. Luckily, due to the fact that I live in a retirement community, I'm still the most appropriately dressed person in the gym), and didn't bother changing the channel on the TV in front of me when I started. Before I could realize what was happening, there I was, listening to Gnarls Barkely on my iPod, and watching VH-1's Most Awesome Celebrity Feuds.

Without any exaggeration, I actually felt the brains leaking out of my forehead, and staining my shirt. Turns out, my brains taste salty.

Which isn't to say I didn't learn a few things. Evidently, Shannon Dougherty is a bitch, Paris Hilton is a slut (or so says Shannon), and someone I don't know at all really hates Avril LeVigne, who (for some reason that I can't really understand, but believe on a deeply visceral level) I myself despise. If only I knew who this Hillary Duff character was, perhaps we could combine forces to bring down Avril. And after doing a Google image search for this Hillary, after we combine forces, perhaps get a little make-y out-y?

And speaking of my wearing a skirt (or at least, using an elliptical at the gym, which according to my friends amounts to the same thing), there are definitely multiple religious Jews in my building who use the gym on a regular basis. And just in case you were wondering what a devout Jewish female (who is required by religious tradition to wear a long skirt) wears to the gym, the answer is. . . a long skirt, made of spandex. I think it was spandex.

I'd write some more, but I have a burning desire to watch another episode of 24. I'm only 1.5 seasons into it, and I'm having a great time. Seriously, my life is awesome when it comes to watching TV. Not owning a TV, I watch only stuff I make a concerted effort to get DVDs (or whatever) for. These include 24 (when I'm with the little lady), Battlestar Galactica (when I'm alone), and Firefly (when I finish Battlestar Galactica). Good times. Although I tend to gorge. I think I watched 3 episodes of BG on Monday night before I went to bed. . . and then I watched another episode. I do have a lot of catching up to do, but it was not unlike eating all the chocolate in the bag. About halfway through I was aware of the fact that I was doing something harmful, but really just had no desire to stop.

Also, while I was watching, I think I ate an entire bag of M&Ms, which is why I use that analogy.