There was a time in my life, not so long ago (approx 3 days ago, to be exact), when I would get all sorts of angry when one of my 'friends' would text message me. In part, this was because I am a cranky old man, fearful of the changes technology brings, as they are merely harbingers of my own eventual passage into obsolescence. Mostly, though, it was because my cell phone was, not to put too fine a point on it, more brick-like in nature than phone-like. I make this assessment not without some serious consideration.

In fact, I have had at least three independent confirmations of the fact, including one colleague (who was around for such a short period of time before his query of 'how long have you had that brick' that a more accurate description of his relationship to me would have been 'stranger.' When I bought it, it was just all sorts of cutting edge - could access the web, run PalmOS applications, actually linked my contacts list to the phone. It was sweet. The fact that it weighed as much as a bag of sugar was completely beside the point. So, after much abuse both from my co-workers and friends (one of whom actually HAD THE SAME PHONE [Ben, I'm looking in your direction. . .]), I finally decided to replace it.

Unfortunately, the day I made that decision was also the day I started to watch the first season of 24. And it turned out that Jack Bauer used the same phone. Jack Bauer, people! (The more mathematically astute of you will be able to figure out that, if they are on season 6 of 24 now, and the phone was cutting edge then, that means that I've had the phone for long enough that the last time I called the Sprint representative for customer service, he said "Sir, you know you've had that phone for a very long time?" no fewer than 3 times during the call. Seriously). So, since my phone was not only serviceable (besides from locations such as my apartment, or on occasions when it was raining, or about to rain) AND used by such notables as Jack Bauer, I decided to hold onto it a little longer. In retrospect, it's probably a good thing I was watching 24 as opposed to Get Smart! as this post would probably have been about the awesome new shoe phone I just got.

Which of course, brings me to my point. I've got a new phone, and a new service provider, and a new lease on life. It can do all of the awesome things that phones should do - receive and send text messages, take pictures and video, surf the web, ssh into my computer at home, and keep track of my busy social schedule. It even can accept incoming phone calls, but more as an afterthought. Mostly what it does is play bejeweled, to be honest (but the black and white version, since I haven't upgraded to the color version yet). The problem being (a) I don't have that many friends, and (b) the people that do call me friend have been beaten into text submission - everyone knows that to send me a text is to request a wrathful phone call. But now no more! So if you have my phone number, send me a text! Even if you have nothing to say. I promise to respond as soon as I can figure out how to make one of those emoticons all the kids are using these days.