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401. Skin Canoes

Three men are exploring the Amazon when they are captured by cannibals. The cannibals, who miraculously speak English, give the explorers a proposition: They will be eaten, and their skins will be made into canoes, but they are allowed to chose their method of death.

The first man, an Englishman, chooses death by revolver. He shouts "Long live the Queen!" as he pulls the trigger and is promptly devoured and deskinned.

The second man, a Frenchman, chooses death by poison. He shouts "Vive le France!" as he swallows the poison and is promptly devoured and deskinned.

The third man, an American, chooses death by fork. "By fork?!" ask the incredulous headhunters. "By fork." he replies. The cannibals hand the American a fork, and he stabs himself repeatedly all over his body, yelling "HAH! I'd like to see you float THIS canoe!"
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