All Too Flat : Serious : Ask The Fish

In an attempt to increase the frequency of updates to the site, we are adding yet another freaking blog. I don't know why we think this will increase the frequency of updates to site - we have at least three of the things anyway, and they are updated just about as often as Boston wins the World Series. But we try. Ask The Fish will now be done blog style, with new entries getting posted as soon as they are answered. Expect the same quality of advice that you have come to expect (from what is either a 800 lb halibut with a highly defined sense of irony, or one of four uber-geeks with nothing better to do on a Saturday night).

Got a question? Need advice? Ask the Fish! Use the Ask the Fish Form to submit a question!

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Dear Ask the Fish,
I'm trying to set up an advice column on my website. Here's the problem: I want to have a questions for the current week so the site will look good when i lauch it. But how can I get people to ask questions before I launch the site? It's like a Catch-22!
-

Dear ,
There are a couple solutions to your dilema. You could make up a bunch of fake questions yourself and post them. While that might be slightly dishonest, there isn't much harm to doing that.
Alternatively, you could have a question contest on a different section of your site. Then use the contest entries as questions. You could actually kill 2 birds with one stone because that is a much better idea than any of the Contest Contest entries so far.
-ATF

31 Dec 1969

Dear Ask the Fish,
I'm trying to get some free immortality rings but I can't seem to get enough people to click on my ad. What should I do?
-

Dear ,
Have you tried pop-under banner ads? They appear underneath the window you are browsing so you don't notice them until you close your current window. They are a great advertising tactic and we at ATF highly recommend everyone using them!
On the other hand, http://technoerotica.net/mylog/optouts.html is a great website that will stop a ton of pop-up ads for you. Definitely worth it.
-ATF

31 Dec 1969

Dear Ask the Fish,
I really like this cute boy and I think he likes me back. He's always giving me looks and finding ways to sit next to me in class. Why won't he ask me out?
-

Dear ,
This is the 21st century for goodness sakes! The rules about girls not asking boys out are obsolete! Screw your courage to the sticking place and ask him!
-ATF

31 Dec 1969

Dear Ask the Fish,
What does the expression "screw your courage to the sticking place" mean? Where did it come from?
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Dear ,
The answer to your question can be found in Shakespeare's Macbeth. When Lady Macbeth encourages her hesitant husband to kill King Duncan in his sleep, she states: 'We fail! But screw your courage to the sticking-place, and we'll not fail.'
Accoring to William Shakespeare: The Complete Works (p. 1115, Penguin Books, 1969), the "sticking place" is a notch used to hold the string of a crossbow when it is cranked taut for shooting.
-ATF

31 Dec 1969

Got a question? Need advice? Ask the Fish!