Well, well, well. Here we are again - a month and a half since my last update, and still nothing to say. Well, at least I'm consistant. What would really suck is if I updated this thing with the same sort of garbage I usually do on a regular basis. The way I see it, a lot of a bad thing is worse, not better. Although I suppose if I were regular about the entire thing, you would know exactly when not to visit Alltooflat so as not to see "Kennyblog updated today!" and be tempted to wander in here to see what I've been up to. It's really all part of my master plan to drive my readership (inasmuch as it is) to madness. Like those experiments they did on mice. Evidentally you can drive a mouse to the point of psychological breakdown if you reward and punish it in a random fashion rather than a deterministic one. You play, in a real sense, the white mouse to my mad scientist. Now is when I say "Muahaha!" in a deep and throaty voice.

Sorry about that. There have been a bunch of things going on, most of which I've forgotten (as usual). It was my birthday this past weekend, which was pretty cool. I think the best part about birthdays (at least my birthday) is that it's pretty much the only day I can invite my friends to Queens without them bitching about how they need a passport to get there (untrue), don't have the time to pack a overnight bag (unneccessary), or can't get there because the subway only runs once every half day and doesn't actually stop at my station but rather requires that they go out to Woodside, transfer, and come back 3 stops (hyperbole at best. Unfortunately, it's not much of an exaggeration). I think the only other way I could get they out there is by having them come for condolence calls on the death of a family member, which (while very nice of them) just isn't that much fun. Although since most of my friends live in Manhattan, they are wearing black all the time anyway, so it's tough to tell what exactly is the nature of the gathering.

Anyway, my birthday party. It was a really great time. I went overboard with the food (as is my wont). My friends ate all of it (as it their wont. Well, Ben's wont, anyway. The rest were really just along for the ride. It's funny that when I went shopping to pick things up I would pick up a package of food and say "this should be enough of whatever this is for my friends" and my mom would turn to me and say "Is Ben going to be there?" Which is how I ended up buying two entire roast beefs (beeves?), for instance). One of my friends brought a cake, which was terribly nice of her. Sam didn't realize that a cake had been brought (neither did I, at that point) and got really angry at me for not having a cake (I had an apple pie, which I was very happy with, but got him very upset). So Sam, being a really nice fellow (if a little prone to gustatorial Totalitarianism) went out and bought me a cake. Which was great. Happy birthday was sung (15 or 16 times), candles were blown out (15 or 16 times: Hey - which one of my friends got those damn trick candles, anyway? My garbage burst into flames on Tuesday night), and I felt loved. Which is really what birthdays are all about.


Wasn't that nice of him?

And as I was coming out of my kitchen to cut the cake, knife in hand, my friend Allison picked up Sams cake and whaled me straight in the face with it.


Wasn't that nice of her? She's the one looking impish in the background. Not guilty, mind you. Just impish.

Really, it was the funniest thing that's happened to me in a long time. I mean, you hear of that happening a bunch, but have you ever really seen it? I was pretty impressed by the chutzpah of the girl. And the arm - she really wasn't screwing around. I was digging icing out of my ear for the next hour. Damn good thing it couldn't get stuck in my hair, eh?

That's just about that for now. I'm psyched, because a picture is worth a thousand words, so I'm SO far ahead on the blog entries right now in terms of word number.

Oh - I also want to thank Christine (or Lauriëwen, or something) for the kind words and interesting urinal links, which are what gave me the impetus to get off my tuchis and write todays entry. Well, I mean, I'm still sitting I suppose. But metaphysically I'm off like a rocket.