I mean, it's not like I haven't been trying. If you were to look at my harddrive, and ordered all of my files according to the number of times they've been accessed in the past month, you'd see the following in the top five:

paris_hilton_sex_tape.wmv - Not because it's good, but because I'm trying to figure out who the Hell Paris Hilton is, and why I give a damn about her. As far as I can tell, she's just like Anna Kournikova, except she can't play tennis. Come to think of it...

Conan-Triumph-at-Star-Wars.wmv - I was at a bar the other night, and they had Triumph in Hawaii talking with prospective superstars from the most recent American Idol. The entire bar (no small number of people) went silent to watch and read the captioning. It reminded me how funny that dog is, so I've broken out the old video clips.

11 - Against All Odds.mp3 - A cover by the Postal Service of the Phil Collins song. I saw them play it at a show in Brooklyn a few months ago, and it rocked the house like it was a quarry. I've been looking for a copy of it ever since. I finally found one by putting a Missed Connection up on Craigs List, and some nice young lady sent it to my inbox. I think it was to thank me for a post that wasn't titled "Mesh Backs Rule." Fuck those things, by the way. Although when I finally post this, they will have been SO last year.

Bluetooth_1_1_vol1.pds - The Bluetooth programming 1.1 specification. Because I have interests outside of work.

newblog.txt - The point of this little list. I actually have something like 65 kilobytes of blog written. It's just that it all sucks. And I hate putting stuff up that sucks. I'm trying not to be one of those bloggers that puts something up regularly just to appease my readers. !*^$ you guys, is my attitude*. I've done at least three really funny things since the last blog entry (I haven't checked the date, but I think it was in early aught one), but I'm having a bunch of trouble writing anything that I think would make you laugh. Well, fret not because, as of this minute, I'm lowering my standards.

The thing farthest back that I can remember is the auditions. A friend of mine (the beautiful and talented Kara) has another friend who also thinks he's really funny. I think he's really funny too, and he's taken a look at ATF, and think's we're pretty funny (he actually suggested that we "collaberate" which made me blush, until I looked up the word. Didn't mean what I thought it meant, which is for the best. Anyway, he does a comedy show in the Village (either the East or the West. The one with all the well-dressed guys. If that narrows anything down, I don't know), and to generate some material for the show he rented a dance studio to hold auditions. For a Guns n' Roses tribute band. For kids aged 7-12. Really, it was brilliant. I think there was some discussion as to whether luring children into a dance studio under false pretenses was a bad idea - Mark cut that knot by booking a show for the kids with a real G'n'R tribute band at the Continental. It's all very School of Rock. My point is that if you ever get a chance to see Mark Malkoff (the guy), he'll make you laugh a whole lot.

And then there was the Rock Paper Scissors Tournament. I don't have that much to say about this that hasn't been said already in the pictorial. Except that Ben forgot to mention that it was the coolest thing ever. And also that everyone at the tourney had been to Alltooflat, since we're linked prominently from the World RPS webpage. It was definitely a cool feeling when, as we were walking through the space, someone yelled out "Hey - that's Alltooflat dot com!" I felt like Enrico Pullatzo. It sucked that I didn't get past the qualifiers (what with traveling 500 miles to get up there), but it was still totally worth it.

What else, what else. I took a business trip. That was pretty exciting, since it was to Cornell and I got to see a pair of friends I hadn't seen in a long time. I went to see the White Stripes. That was disappointing. You know it's a problem when I walk into any place, and I'm one of the hippest people there. And the Stripes themselves were meh. Although, the young lady in that band is an incredible object lesson in how being in a band makes you so hot. If you just ran into her on the street, she would be a pretty girl. But behind the drum kit she is a wanton (yet blissfully demure) sex goddess.

Yeah. So that's all for now, I think (I'm starting to get the carpal tunnel). More soon though, I promise (errrr... threaten? mention without discernible effect?)

*(Sorry about the "!*^$ you guys" thing)