Contact: Scizorro, 646/221-1189, The Sheet, 917/860-9076
All Too Flat Superheroes Prepare to Dominate
Rock Paper Scissors World Championships
SciZorro, The Sheet, Red Rock (The Boy Boulder), and Paper Cut
to Destroy Competition with Overwhelming Superpowers
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
October 16, 2004
TORONTO Ð The All Too Flat team of superheroes arrived at the Rock Paper Scissors World Championships here today with one goal: world domination. With months of laborious training under their respective superhero belts, Scizorro, The Sheet, Red Rock (The Boy Boulder), Paper Cut and their sidekicks descended on the Kool Haus to make RPS history.
ÒWe are to RPS what the Beatles were to rock ÔnÕ roll,Ó said Scizorro, slicing through the air with a vicious scissors throw. ÒItÕs an invasion, the women (and men) will be screaming, and weÕre all going to be fabulously, fabulously wealthy.Ó
With team members based throughout North America, it is rumored that the superheroes flew in under their own power, although some may or may not have driven up from New York City disguised as their alter egos. Regardless of their method of travel, though, each team member came to Toronto to pursue glory.
ÒI will ream you,Ó threatened The Sheet. ÒI will REAM you.Ó
ÒLet it bleed!Ó shrieked the Paper Cut.
ÒI truly believe the mighty rock of justice will prevail,Ó echoed Red Rock (The Boy Boulder).